I Wouldn't Last 10 Seconds in a UFC Ring

I would rather go to prison for a year then fight a big time UFC fighter. I would probably be tapping out before the referee even started the fight. As soon as the ref said "go" I would be in a dead sprint away from my opponent and climbing the fence like a Spider Monkey.

Even if I tried, I can't describe how fast I would be put into one of their thousands of deadly submissions. That is not why I would be afraid though.  A few seconds of pain, you tap out, then its all over. That I can handle. Its the shit like this that scares me. One second im on my feet ready to impress every girl in the arena, next thing I know im on the ground, my jaw is half way across the ring, and im going to be eating through a straw for the next 6-8 weeks.